was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
