ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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