sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
