Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was so not down for the gang bang
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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