I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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