I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So apparently I’m into choking now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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