The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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