he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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