We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
