just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
