Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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