Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
