Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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