i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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