i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
