Sponge bath it is.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
