in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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