Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
