Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
