I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You took a bar mat shot.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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