whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
