i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
