It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just pee around me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
