i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
