Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
