My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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