I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
