This girl is more easily done than said...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
