We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorry my hands just texted you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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