Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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