Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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