Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drunk is not a location!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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