So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
