you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
