Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pants 0. Shit 1.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
