Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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