So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
