Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
