apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
