so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
