if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
