Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
