chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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