when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
