The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
