he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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