Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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