Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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