It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
