shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I need to calm my uterus...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My bed smells like the plague
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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